04/27/2021

 Lord,

I just want to thank you for another day to get it right Lord. I won't lie, getting out of bed was a challenge because everything in me said turn the alarm for 5:30 instead but I think, no, I know being in your word early is important and I need you and and this time so much right now. Isaiah 56:3 tells me that all have gone their own way and Christ died for all of us. I know I have done things my own way for such a long, long time and I know that I must follow you Lord. Forgive me for going astray and forgive me for being so selfish. Lord, sometimes I don't even like me and yet, you love me unconditionally. I realized when I closed out my prayer last night that I forgot to mention my grandchildren. I want so much to have a close relationship with them but I know that means not working all the time, being deliberate and Louis and the kids having a good relationship also helps. I know Jonathan and Genesis say they don't want Eliana around anyone and while I respect them because I don't want her to be hurt either, at some point in life, did they think I wouldn't get married again, that I wouldn't want to be with someone? Lord, you see, I know I caused a lot of this damage and I feel like I am doing my part in fixing it but I am just going to give it to you because Lord I'm failing. I need you in every area of my life, all the time. Lord, you know my heart. Deep down I consider myself a good person but I still have so much work to do to be like Jesus. Lord today guide my steps Father, make them be a reflection of you Lord. Help convict me when I go to cuss. It's not lady like, it's not cute, and it's not becoming of a reflection of you in my life. Be with Louis today on his job. I know he is feeling some type of way Lord and I hate that for him though I understand why he feels that way. He is right where he needs to be it seems to get what he needs to move into ministry in terms of recovery. This is the devil trying to keep him away from his calling. Lord I just pray a hedge of protection around him today Lord. Help keep him calm, in a good place mentally, especially since this is his very long day and with the nurse he already has challenges with. Today be with me Lord and give me understanding and follow through with my employees. I am not interested in hearing what wasn't done and more interested in them getting things done for the residents. Lord, I am going to make some appointments today, which I am rather nervous about. I am fine with the dentist but Lord, I am worried about going to the doctor moving forward with these health issues I have a challenge with. The breast cancer thing terrifies me to no end for so many reasons but I know if there have been changes that I am a fighter and that you are going to use that for your glory. Lord I love you.

Amen

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